Thursday, 28 August 2008

News In Briefs, Part The Second

Another News In Brief Published in the November 2006 Issue of The Chihuahua (University of St Andrews Satirical Paper)

Boris Johnson and Iain Paisley have teamed up to fight crime, a source has claimed. The unlikely duo met by chance at a bullfight in the seedy underbelly of St Andrews one Christmas Eve several years ago. Said Johnson of his colleague, “Where the hell am I?” whilst Paisley responded with his well-known catchphrase, “NO!”

Early reports suggest that Johnson’s superhero alter ego will be called Platypus Man, whilst Paisley is deliberating between Heron Boy and King Prawn. Their arch nemeses, the Sugababes, are said to be developing unconvincing evil plots for the duo to foil every week. Rumours of sexual relations between the band and our intrepid heroes are unsubstantiated. An ever-helpful Boris told Chihuahua, “I think I dreamed it, but it was one of those really realistic ones, so I started to believe it had actually happened and so, you know, told everyone.”

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