Written For The Chihuahua, St Andrews University Satirical Paper, in November 2006
Medical experts are baffled by what appears to be the first ever female case of man flu. Theodora Wiggins of 412 Lamond Drive is unable to leave her bed, leaving her husband and children completely uncared for, yet her only symptoms seem to be a sore throat and a bit of a jippy tummy. Dr Hooper Impasse of the Royal Medical Institute of Sick People is cynical.
“It can’t be man flu,” he postulated pungently in a press conference yesterday. “A weak and feeble woman could never withstand such immense physical and psychological pain, her brain would explode. She has to be faking it.”
Meanwhile, Theodora’s children, Jukebox-Marie and Tixylix, were heard to enquire of their malnourished father, “Is mummy going to die?”
“I don’t know kids,” responded the jaundiced pyrotechnic worker, “I just don’t know.”