Do you like glitter? Pyrotechnics? Lyrics that sound as though someone wrote them using the babelfish translator? Well, this post is for you.
Tonight myself and my glamorous assistant Captain Tact will be covering Eurovision in an exciting liveblog stylee. Be back here at 8pm to witness the real time glory of our caustic wit in the box below. We have also selected some of the great and good of the twitter to feature in the timeline.
It'll be a bit like attending a Eurovision party, but a text-based one in the comfort of your own home where nobody will try and force you to have snacks created around various preconceptions of the Baltic States. Enjoy.