Smooth Epilator

Female hair removal. Who cares about that crap? Well, market research suggests that it’s probably women. Of which I am one.

Perhaps boringly, these so-called women are divided on the best way to go about it. And being a comparatively tedious person, I was wondering about the case for epilation.

Friend 1: What do you mean, you don’t epilate? I’d be like a bear if I didn’t. LITERALLY.

Friend 2: Don’t go there. I have never known pain like it.

Mixed reviews, there.

For those who don’t know, an epilator is an electrical device that mechanically grasps multiple hairs simultaneously and pulls them out at the root. Or, a plastic doohickey with a load of tweezers in.

In my opinion it hurts a bit, but not particularly more than pouring hot wax on yourself and ripping it off, which is another thing women (and some men) swear by. And it lasts longer than shaving.

But what do you do when it’s winter and you live in the coldest flat known to man? We had ice on the inside of the windows the other day. Epilating involves getting the bits of your body out that want tweezered for a prolonged period of time. What if you get frostbite before you’re done?! No beauty routine ought to result in amputation, however effective the outcome may be.

This weekend, therefore, shall be dubbed 'operation insulate the flat a bit more than NONE'.

Suggestions for catchier titles will be considered.