True Romance

Oi, Hotmail spam filter! What do you mean by junking this? She could be my one true love!

'My Dearest,

I am very happy for your reply to my mail despite your busy schedules.'

I didn't email you, but OK.

'How was your night over there in your country,i believe you had a nice night rest and that the atmosphere over there in your country is very nice today? Mine was a little bit warm over here in Dakar Senegal.'

Cold. It's winter in Edinburgh.

'My name is Bella Garang,'

Nice to meet you, I suppose.

'23 years old but age doesn't matter in a real relationship,so i am comfortable with your age,'

Oi! I'm 25!

'My hobbies are Reading,traveling Listening to good jokes also my likes are obedient,Honest,sincerity,truth and my dislikes are lie,dishonest,envy,and betrayal.'

Huh. My dislikes are people not bothering to proof read what they're written.

'I am from Southern Region of Sudan,5.7ft tall,dark in complexion single,(never married ) and presently, i am residing here in Dakar as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country some years ago.'

Hey, I'm 5'7" and never been married! Maybe we should be buds! Oh, but I don't have much civil war chat though. Could always give you stuff about the act of union...

'My late father Dr John Garang was the greatest Sudanese politician in history. A Christian and a southern Sudanese from the Dinka tribe, and also the First vice president of Southern Sudan in Northeastern Africa in July 9, 2005.'

As the greatest Sudanese politician in history I guess he didn't need to be punctual. Arf. But in all seriousness, he's a real guy. Apparently survived by a widow, also a Sudanese politician, and six children.

'He was involved in the Helicopter Crash on July 30 2005 that resulted his Death due to the pilot error'

Seems to be true, according to Wikipedia. Do you use Wikipedia, Bella?

'and My late Mother died in the civil war. During the death of my father, there is civil war going on radically that resulted my relocating to save my soul with the help of red Cross'

OK... sounds harrowing. So your mother wasn't Dr Garang's wife, then? Rebecca Nyandeng De Mabior? Cause as discussed, she is still alive.

'It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to a near by country Senegal where i am leaving now as a refugee under a Reverend father's care and i am using the computer in his office to send these messages to you.'

Wow. Cheers for thinking of me, Bella, you complete stranger you. Why not go to one of your six half-brothers or sisters, though?

'My dear, I came in the site to search for love and care which I have not gotten for a very long time since I lost my family members.'

What site? Hotmail?

'I hereby believe that in time to come you will be my side and I will show you unreserved love and respect through out my time .'

Thanks very much.

'Dear, I want to know more about you, your real name, Your real country, your age, your hobbies and what you are doing presently.'

Pretty sure you could get all of that through my hotmail profile, hen. Except for what I am doing right now, which is a little bit creepy sounding if you don't mind my saying. Anyway, someone has not done their research.

'I have attached my pictures here for you to know me very well. In my next mail I will tell you more about myself. I wait your reply with impatience.
Yours Bella'

Can't believe I nearly missed my opportunity with this lovely girl by not checking my junk mail folder. I have of course emailed her with pictures of myself, my full home address, bank details, information about 12 books in 12 months, etc. Captain Tact will be a bit put out, but he'll get over it eventually. This is a case of the true love, after all.