Tuesday, 4 January 2011

The Tuesday Play

A modern day soap opera. I imagine this reflects the experience of a lot of other people.

13 Dec 2010 – I order a thing from the internet on the proviso it’ll get to Edinburgh for December 16th

15 Dec 2010 – get an email saying the thing has been picked up at the other end by HDNL 24 hour delivery

15 Dec 2010 – Tracker says “14:19 - the parcel has been collected.”

15 Dec 2010 – Tracker says “15:02 - the parcel has been despatched from depot”

16 Dec 2010 –Tracker says “00:01 - The parcel has been sorted at our hub”

17 Dec 2010 – Snowmageddon has hit England and Citylink has suspended deliveries to Scotland. Crap. Although I've not heard anything about HDNL, maybe they're still managing?

21 Dec 2010 – Tracker says “07:34 - The parcel has been received into depot”

23 Dec 2010 – Tracker says “12:49 - The parcel is in the Depot”

25 Dec 2010 – Christmas happens. My dad does not get his present.

29 Dec 2010 – Tracker says “06:35 - The parcel has been loaded on to the drivers van”

29 Dec 2010 – I stay home all day waiting for the parcel.

29 Dec 2010 – Tracker says “14:51 – the parcel is in the Depot.”

29 Dec 2010 – I try to ring HDNL around 16:00. The system demands I type in the handy fifty-digit code on the calling card they haven’t left me.

4 Jan 2011 – 11:30 I phone the people from whom I originally ordered the thing to see if they are allowed to talk to HDNL, since I still haven’t had a card.

4 Jan 2011 – 11:35 Whist waiting for the system to load, they mention that the snow was an issue.

4 Jan 2011 – 11:36 I mention that I’ve cut them almost a month’s slack because of the snow and the holidays, for something I was meant to get within 24 hours.

4 Jan 2011 – 11:40 She finally manages to get into the system, to tell me that they tried to deliver on the 29th but there was “no access to the property.”

4 Jan 2011 – 11:41 I am unimpressed, and tell her so, because I know what that means. Like all couriers, they've come along the road, seen someone else on the single yellow outside the flat, and fucked off. There are plenty places to stop, it's just they can't be arsed cause it'll involve walking / possible traffic warden chat. If I had my way, everyone would be forced to use the Royal Mail, who at least make it as far as the front door before failing to get the right buzzer.

4 Jan 2011 – 11:43 She says she will put a note through of the other places I have listed where they could park. This is sweet, but it won’t achieve anything.


5 Jan 2011 – 11:45 Tracker still on the message from the 29th ; parcel in Depot. Hate to say I told you so, etc. Sorry, Dad.

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